Finland is one of the main characters of SatW and is part of the Nordic group. He is definitely the black sheep of the bunch, with his bitter alcoholism, filthy temper, and penchant for wanton violence (although to be fair, he has never been depicted actually hurting anyone, only scaring them with his knife). It's hard to say what makes him tick since he almost never speaks, and when he does, it's usually just to swear in his native tongue. Occasionally, he communicates via written signs. He's not exactly a loner — he goes to the Nordic gatherings (even the ones with silly themes) and it can probably be assumed that he has a good time, since he never hesitates to make it known when he's having a bad time. All the same, he is kind of a jerk. His sense of humour seems restricted to playing cruel pranks on others. His usual targets are Åland and Sweden, but he's also been known to mess with Germany.
Finland is extremely proud of his unique culture and his accomplishments in sports such as hockey and the wife-carrying footrace. One of the worst days of his life was when Denmark beat him at his own game.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
Finland is the only non-blond among the Nordics with blunt features, heavy eyebrows, and a seemingly permanent scowl. He's a portly man implied to be about the same height or a bit shorter than Sweden, with a good deal of body hair. He keeps his dark, greyish-brown hair close-cropped under a sage green hat most of the time and wears a moustache and goatee. His standard outfit consists of blue jeans, tall boots, a sweatshirt with the design of his flag, and his distinctive sage green hat. And he almost always has a weapon on him — if not the usual butcher knife, then perhaps an axe or sniper rifle.
Relationships[edit | edit source]
Scandinavia: Finland has a rather complicated relationship with Sweden. In the distant past, he was quite a bit mellower, and he and Sweden were good friends. But then he was annexed by Russia and everything went south, and although he has been independent since 1917, he still has a special animosity for his bespectacled neighbour. Even his own fluency in Swedish is a source of irritation to him now. To make matters even more complicated, Finland is actually dating Sister Sweden, much to Sweden's annoyance. Their relationship is superficially mystifying, but it's really quite simple: their kinks match up. She enjoys playing the role of a dominatrix, and he likes women to dominate him. (That's probably why he has so many female political leaders.) But although it started out casual, they seem to have developed some genuinely tender feelings for each other. It's not exactly a match made in heaven (especially with her sexual appetite being much more voracious than his, as noted in this comic), but it's one of the few things that make Finland happy.
Family: Finland lives with his sister, his cousin Åland (who is dating Sweden), and his nephew FennoSwede (Sister Finland's child by...Sweden. We told you it was complicated). Somehow, the tension in that household always stops short of murder, although there have been a couple of close calls. Åland, in particular, is easily frustrated with Finland and would really rather move in with Sweden, but King Europe decreed the living arrangements decades ago. Ever since then, Finland and Åland seem to be on a campaign to make each other absolutely miserable. So far, it's a stalemate — Finland has the advantage of political sovereignty, but Åland is actually the more savage of the two when angered and knows how to gain the upper hand in a direct confrontation. The general rule is that Finland starts the fights and Åland finishes them.
The World: Finland mostly keeps to himself and doesn't deal with countries outside the Nordic club too often. About the worst of it is when Russia gets too drunk and stalks him. He was also seen lushing it up with an assortment of countries in "Drunken Party."
Quotes[edit | edit source]
- "Perkele!!! Perkele!!! Perkele!!! Perkele!!! Perkele!!! Perkele!!! Perkele!!! Perkele!!! Perkele!!! Perkele!!!..."
- "I had chicken for dinner."